CW: C-PTSD mentioned

I had to take time away from non-monogamy in my relationship because my nervous system exploded. It was painful and threw me way off balance, but what was and is even harder for me is the identity crisis that went along with it. I allowed my ego to get attached to the identity of “spokesperson for Ethical Non-Monogamy,” or, as my core partner teasingly calls me, the “Non-Monogamy Expert,” but here I was, triggers flying everywhere, expressing jealousy and insecurity to the point where my core partner asked for us to be monogamous for the time being. It is embarrassing, and it has been hard for me to get back to writing on here because of this cognitive dissonance.